Have you ever felt, umm "nothing", exactly the lack of emotions to many things you feel you should react to it emotionally, the frustration of doing nothing, the frustration of unable to do anything because of sheer laziness, the feeling of not enjoying anything.
You know what are the things you are supposed to do, but you just cant bring yourself to do it, even though how important that thing may be, you watch your old world crumble before you, but there is nothing you can do about it, you think about things more profoundly, you start to ask questions like "What is meaning of Life", you try to find about more about everything, try to find deeper meaning to you and everything around it.
Exactly this is partially what I'm going through currently, Its like one of the most boring,frustrating point in my life. i just don't feel like doing many things that i have to do or i used to do.
I was quite dumbfounded about what is happening to me, then one of my friend (he has also talked about quarter life crisis but he didn't knew it was it at that time, Read his blog Neeraj) mentioned something about the Quarter-life crisis and i tried to find out more about it..
Here is what i could dug up about it from Google...
Quarter Life Crisis
"It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life.
You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!"
Though for me still the Job and loans doesn't count as reasons and yes one night stand also doesn't count :D.
You may realize how true it is or you may conclude how stupid i have become but What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
Here's a gist what Wikipedia says about it:
"Characteristics of this crisis are:
* feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at his/her academic / intellectual level
* frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
* confusion of identity
* insecurity regarding the near future
* insecurity regarding present accomplishments
* re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
* disappointment with one's job
* nostalgia for university or college life
* tendency to hold stronger opinions
* boredom with social interactions
* financially-rooted stress
* loneliness
* desire to have children
* a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
These emotions and insecurities are not uncommon at this age, nor at any age in adult life. In the context of the quarter-life crisis, however, they occur shortly after a young person – usually an educated professional, in this context – enters the "real world". After entering adult life and coming to terms with its responsibilities, some individuals find themselves in a world of career stagnation and extreme insecurity. This can be after a first job or straight out of college/university. Whenever it is, the real world is tougher, more competitive and less forgiving than they imagined. Furthermore, the qualifications they have spent so much time and money earning are not likely to prepare them for this.
As the emotional ups-and-downs of adolescence and college life subside, many in the quarter-life crisis experience a "graying" of emotion. While emotional interactions may be intense in a high school or college environment – where everyone is roughly the same age and hormones are highly active – these interactions become subtler and more private in adult life. Nobody wants to admit to feeling like a 'loser'. This secrecy intensifies the problem."
So, I'm Happy I'm not Alone :-), and besides there are still some things that i find solace in, so all is not that bleak :).
